wonderyssa:

The One that got away..

On the last book I’ve read entitled “The Pillars of Creation” by Terry Goodkind, I managed to learn something so meaningful that it felt like the author was actually talking in front of me saying his words of wisdom on the meaning of love. 

To give you a little overview of what I’m reading, “The Pillar of Creation” is the 7th installment of the Sword of Truth Series written by Terry Goodkind. It’s a fantasy love story between Richard Cypher/Rahl and Kahlan Amnell. I seriously recommend this book to those who are interested.

Anyways, on with my true intentions. I want to share the words of the one named Jennsen Rahl when she was confronted with a very difficult situation in the book. She’s the ungifted half sister of Richard Rahl. One who is actually named and be known. Their Father, Darken Rahl might have fathered hundreds of children and Richard was the only one with the gift or otherwise called “magic”. 

Here are her words taken from Chapter 60 pages 711-712.

“You don’t love me, Sebastian. You don’t have any idea what love really is. You can’t love anyone or anything until you love your own existence, first. Love can only grow out of a respect for your own life. When you love yourself, your own existence, then you love some who can enhance your existence, share it with you, and make it more pleasurable. When you hate yourself and believe your existence is evil, then you can only hate, you can only experience the shell of love, that longing for something good, but you have nothing to base it in but hatred. You taint the very concept of love, Sebastian, with your corrupted longing for it. You want me only to justify your hatred, to be your partner in self-loathing. To truly love someone, Sebastian, you must revel in their existence because they make life all the more wonderful. If you think existence is corrupt, then you are sealed off from the fruition of such a relationship, from what love really is.”

“You’re wrong! You just don’t understand!” said Sebastian

“I understand all too well. I only wish I had sooner.” Jenn replied

“But I do love you, Jenn. You’re wrong. I do love you!” Sebastian

“You can only wish you did. They are the empty words of a barren shell of a man. There is nothing there for me to love - nothing worth loving. You are so empty of humanity that it’s even difficult for me to hate you, Sebastian, except in the sense of the way one would hate an open sewer.”

“Jenn - you don’t mean any of that. You can’t. I can’t live without you.”

Jennsen turned her cold fury on him. “The only thing in the whole world that you could do that would please me, Sebastian, would be to die!”

To cut things short, In Chapter 61, Jennsen, with Richard and Kahlan at her side, went into the squat building and discovered that Sebastian, unable to reconcile his beliefs and his feelings, had granted Jennsen her last wish. He had taken all the mountain fever roses he’d had in the tin. He sat dead at the table.

Reading her words, she had help me learn something  very important. Actually Pastor Josh, our Head Pastor at our church, has already given the same message to us last Sunday. It was about Loving God 1st with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might. After that is that you have to love yourself. Only then could you really love someone else. It only told me that it was really stupid to try and kill myself over a girl. Maybe Jennsen was right. That I never really did love my former girlfriend the way that I should have.

For your information, if you are reading this. I tried to kill myself because me and my girlfriend broke up. I overdosed on Ferrous Sulfate and thought that it would make me sleep all through it but only made me vomit when I suddenly woke up. til now I’m not sure if she really has someone else already but this was the reason I did it. I hope to someday get over what I did. since I didn’t die maybe God still has a mission for me to do. 

Maybe I won’t have the same end as Sebastian. I hope that I could recover from this dilemma of mine. I wish that whoever read this will learn not only from the fantasy story of Jennsen and Sebastian but also from my experience that I’ve gone through. 

I’ll always remember that day. To see my parent’s in so much pain that I’ve caused. To see their own son vomiting his life out. I only hope to fix my life again so that at least I could get the trust of my parents again. To show them that I’m well and doing fine already.

I could guess that only a handful of people would read this. and a selected view who would read it till the end. THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading this! I hope you’ve learned something from this. Take Care and God Bless

The Sword of Truth Series by Terry Goodkind

I’ve bought the books a few months ago and I’m already reading book 7. I’m not quite sure if I’m reading it slow or fast. This was their basis for the TV Series “The Legend of the Seeker”. After reading this I’m not sure what to read next. I’ve finished the Harry Potter Series and that’s that. I’m trying to complete the Percy Jackson Series too. I hope you can give some Series I would really appreciate it. I’ll collect those to if I can. 

You’re Freed. What are you gonna do now??

It was really ironic when me my friend older friends where chatting at Dunkin Donut Session Road last August 08, 2010. (It was my birthday and we just didn’t know what to do with our time). Through all the seriousness of the matter about me being obsessed with someone for almost 6 years, the tissue paper that was given to us made my mind numb. As if the tissue paper was part of our little conversation. If I could only find a picture to show you guys, you’d understand but I’ll just tell you instead. I not really sure why it was the motto of the Dunkin Donut at that time but what it said was “You can’t stick to one”. HAHAHA. seriously, this gave me chills down my spine. Well, we’ll never know for sure if it really was talking to me but sure enough it made me realize that what it said was really true, I can’t really stick to one at the moment. Maybe someday but we’re not sure. there’s bound to be someone out there for us. It’s just a matter of time before their destiny intertwine with ours.

Just wanted to know your comments or any violent reactions on what I designed for some of my free time. Please do. Everyone can ask anything about it. ^_^

It’s been awhile since my 1st post and it’s been a hectic week again. been doing errands a lot at our church lately and now we’re planning on feeding the people in our area this Thursday, and this coming Sunday we’re hoping to push through our plans for a Back-to-School Special Party for all the Students who are available, specially for the Students of CRSHS (Cordillera Regional Science High School) who is just right in front of the church.

So now I’d like to talk about what my URL stands for. I’m pretty sure everybody knows the Acronym WWJD means. If you don’t know it then that sucks for you. Moving on, WWJD comes into mind for me when I really don’t know what to do. I often ask the question “What would Jesus Do?” when I’m totally confused and stressed out. Just a semester ago I just dropped all my subjects because I don’t really know where my life is taking me and it frustrates me when I’m stuck with one problem.

For the many years I’ve stayed at our church, I remembered that with all the sermons and preachings I heard, I would be able to find an answer with the question WWJD. Knowing this, here is where I want you all to realize that even if you knew what would Jesus would do in your situation, what would you do about it? Would you go ahead and do what you think Jesus would do?, or would you do the opposite?

My URL is WWRJD-NOW.tumblr.com and it stands for “What would RJ do?”. I want you all to understand that Knowing what would Jesus do is not enough to solve our problems. the next question that should be in our minds when we find the answer to WWJD is “What would I do now?”.

What is your next step?. What would be the ending of your story?. What is your conclusion to yourself?.

So now I challenge you people to question yourselves to what you would do next when the time comes when you’re as confused as me then.

Seek God, Ask God, Find God, Need God. Then surely you’ll know what Jesus would do. And after that I put my faith in all of you that you would do the right thing.

First off, I’d like to greet all the people who might come and read my post/s. Thanks a lot for giving me some of your precious time. It may serve to you as a learning opportunity or not but I’d sure hope it does.

For the Information of the Readers, this isn’t my first blog so I’m welcoming again myself to the world of blogging. In my past blogs, I talked about my life and pretty much not sense about love and stuff but from here on out I’d still be talking about my life but now I’ll try to manifest more on what I really want to talk about, which is my relationship with God.

So as I end this opening post of mine, feel free to ask me anything you’d like to know. If it’s about me I might not have anything to say but if it’s me and my God there’s a bunch I’d like for you to hear.

 I’m happy and very much excited about the things I’d like to share. God Bless and keep in touch! Peace out.